If you’ve ever wandered around one of those variety ‘value’ stores (as they like to call themselves) such as ÖB or Dollar Store in Sweden you’ll probably have come out of it clutching a thin plastic bag full of what you hope will be a bargain but what you really know will be a complete waste of money.*

But seriously, you’ve only got yourself to blame if you really think that electric power drill for 129 SEK is going to do any more than tickle a brick wall or one of those six-man tents (with matching collapsible chairs) for 499 SEK made of Bangalore-Tex™ will actually succeed in keeping the rain out.

However millions of us are prepared to take the chance and buy this ‘Made in China’ crap anyway because at the end of the day we all love the idea of getting a bargain – even when it really isn’t one.

Now if these ‘value’ stores were to ever sell beer the type of beer they’d probably sell would be something like San Miguel Especial or Estrella Damm. And no doubt they’d sell lots of it too, as this is exactly the sort of pile-it-high-sell-it-cheap beer that bargain hunters are looking for.

Although Estrella Damm (Systembolaget Art No. 11514) and San Miguel Especial (Systembolaget Art No. 1585) are actually both made in Barcelona (remember most San Miguel you’ve probably drunk is about as Spanish as Manuel in Fawlty Towers) they are really only cheap homogenized copies of lager. I call them ‘Made in China’ beers.

In the glass they look practically the same but it’s San Miguel Especial’s higher ABV (5.4% as opposed to 4.6%) that makes it taste the sweeter of the pair. I also get some faint corn and grain flavours too. Imagine putting your breakfast cereal through a blender and adding a teaspoon of white sugar and you’re getting close. Estrella Damm is a little drier, more grassy and crisper. Of the two it’s the most drinkable but it’s still about as memorable as the last time I hoovered the house.

I’m giving San Miguel Especial 1.5 out of 5 and Estrella Damm 2 out of 5 (mainly because the bottle comes across as being a shade more ‘authentic’)

Better than ‘nada’ but if I were you I’d ‘intentar algo más’

*Admit it, you’ve done it haven’t you!

** The reason I’m drinking Spanish beer is because my family has been playing host to a couple of future stars from the Barcelona Football Club youth team this past week. That also explains the photograph.

*** What happened to the the San Miguel 0,0% Manzana you ask? I’ve decided to hold fire on reviewing this beer and will feature it, along with a selection of other non-alcoholic ‘beers’ in an upcoming episode of BeerSweden TV.