Last night I invited two very special guests to dinner – a loud and colourful American called Boris and a slightly odd but interesting Dane by the name of Jackie Brown.

Boris was the perfect companion to have around the dinner table. He really came into his own after the meal, entertaining us with his rich, dark roasted malts and thick tar and wood personality. He was surprisingly sweet at times too, with some creamy vanilla and brown sugar helping to tone down his more bitter edges.

The fact he had spent some time in a whisky cask was very obvious, finishing as he did on a refined smoky alcoholic note.

I’ve actually met a close relation of Boris before but he preferred to stay away from the whisky. I think I liked him just a little bit better. Still, if I was to rate this Boris – shockingly rude as it is to rate a dinner guest – I’d give him 4 out of 5. I’ll certainly be inviting him again.

Jackie Brown on the other hand was an altogether more intriguing figure at the dinner table. Jackie came with a reputation for being pretty foul-mouthed but as it turned out she was actually rather shy, particularly when it came to the chocolate and coffee flavours we were expecting given the six different types of malt she brought with her.

Coming from the brown ale family I was hoping she’d be rich but her malty nature never really shone through. She was strangely bitter in places having clearly spent a little too much time with her American hop buddies. Jackie was (again at the risk of sounding rude) a bit thin and we all thought she could do with putting on a bit more weight.

I liked Jackie but I had hoped she’d be a bit more interesting. I’d rate her 3 out of 5 and would probably invite her to dinner again, but only if she bought her friend Beer Geek Brunch Weasel along too.