Following the news this week that Scottish maverick brewers BrewDog have launched the world’s strongest beer – a 55% ABV Blond Belgium ale inserted into dead stoats and squirrels – a little known Swedish craft brewer has already gone one better.
Darrån Packmän, Head of Stuff at BryggHund Brewery near the paper factory in Obbola outside Umeå has shocked the beer world with the announcement he’s created a 60% ABV triple fermented Cascadian Hefeweizen and stuffed it up the rectum of an elk.
An exclusive first look at one of only two End of the Colon bottles ever made!
Darrån says he has torn up convention, blurred distinctions and pushed brewing and beer packaging to its limits when he created ”End of the Colon”.
“Those Scottish pretenders used a talented taxidermist to stuff roadkill wildlife. I just got my mate Trävör to go out with his gun and shoot a couple of elks. He stuffed them too. Trävör enjoys doing things like that”.
Darrån reveals that he tried inserting his beer into a number of other forms of Swedish wildlife before deciding on elks.
“I initially wanted to put the beer into a few Baltic herrings as we are quite famous up here in the north for them. But have you ever seen the size of a herring’s arsehole? It became clear pretty early on it was never going to work”.
“Then I thought about a lynx but these are pretty rare and even Trävör’s not supposed to shoot them. I did ask him to drive around the woods for a couple of nights hoping he’d knock one down so we could claim it as roadkill but to no avail.
“As a last resort I sent Trävör dressed up as a wolf to Lycksele Animal Park to try and steal their lynx but the keepers spotted him and threw him into the wolf enclosure. He was in there the whole weekend before anyone noticed. To be honest Trävör has never really been the same since”.
When asked whether it would be difficult to pour the beer from an 300 kg elk that stands over two metres tall Darrån said “possibly” but pointed out that the advantages of the beer up its bum far outweighed such a minor issue.
“At this high level of ABV I recommend you store ”End of the Colon” for at least a decade before drinking it. As you can imagine the elk won’t fit into any standard fridge but fortunately the ambient temperature up its arse is perfect for keeping the beer in prime condition for generations.
“I do recommend however that you store the beer standing up”, he quickly added.
(Update – Both bottles of End of the Colon have now been sold to a wealthy Sheik. A source close to BeerSweden can reveal he was so impressed with it he has asked BryggHund to stuff some of it up a camel’s arse. More details will be posted as we get them).
