It’s hard to believe it’s just 19 days since the end of the World Cup but the dismal performance of the England football team lives on as the butt of jokes in pubs around the nation.

For instance: ”What’s the difference between the England team and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer”.

Or how about: ”What do you call an Englishman in the knockout stages of the World Cup? A referee”.

But now it’s not only the jokes that are leaving a bitter taste in the mouths of our over-paid and under-performing footballers – it’s the beer too!

This hilarious picture was sent in to BeerSweden by Martin Ruth & Eva Swande from Solna who spotted this cask ale on the bar of the Chef and Brewer in Richmond, London during a recent trip there.

The beer was originally a Batemans bitter called England Expects but the brewery had cleverly made sure it wouldn’t score a marketing own goal by putting a removable front label on the pump clip which in the event of disaster would reveal this knock-out slogan.

Truly a beer of two halves.

Once again I give you the results of the England game before it kicks off – in beer of course!

Disclaimer – I’m a football nut. I’m also English. This is a very potent combination that can lead to silly behaviour, particularly when beer is added to the mix. Please take these World Cup episodes with a HUGE pinch of salt and see them for what they are intended to be – a bit of beery fun!

8.15pm: Saturday night at Allstar sportsbar in Umeå. Just 15 minutes till kick-off and all those days of looking forward to the World Cup have vanished, replaced by a rising sense of anxiety and a gnawing sensation in the pit of my stomach like a mild dose of travel sickness.

Of course we’re going to win I keep telling myself. This is our time, This is our World Cup. I swat away memories of soft goals and agonising penalty shootouts like I do mosquitoes in my summerhouse. That was then. Now we’re ready. Now we’re world-beaters.

I’m not alone of course, standing there surrounded by dozens of flatscreen TVs with a cold bottle of Spitfire Premium Ale in hand. The football has bought the English ex-pats out and stripped us of our adopted Swedish sensibilities. Today we couldn’t care less about the royal wedding. Today we’re red and white, a clan of brothers preparing to watch our country march to glory.

8.34pm: Gerrard scores. The sportsbar erupts.  It literally rains Spitfire as beer is sent flying from half-empty bottles. It doesn’t matter. Like a downpour after days of humid weather the tension is beautifully broken. Adrenaline floods through me and I grab the nearest person and almost break his ribs as we hug each other in an embrace of total exaltation. At that exact moment I believe. I really truly believe.

9.05pm: We’re winning. It’s not spectacular stuff but then watching England play rarely is. We’re comfortable. The jokes are funny and the tables are littered with empty bottles of Spitfire. Even though I know I shouldn’t thoughts start to turn towards how we are going to celebrate after the match. Surreal moment as Hanna Ljungberg and Thomas Ravelli sit down at the table next to ours. Two Swedish World Cup heroes watching our heroes. We shake hands and order more beer.

9.10pm: The chattering noise stops. A pub on pause. I turn to the man I hugged just minutes earlier and see from the look in his eyes that it’s true. It did happen. Suddenly I don’t believe as much anymore. The mental mosquitoes are back. It only takes a second for my defence mechanism to kick in. There’s plenty of time left. Of course we can still win this one.  My Spitfire doesn’t taste quite so good though. It tastes too bitter.

10.10pm: The final whistle blows. We take down the red and white flag from the ceiling, fold it up carefully, empty our bottles of beer and go home. Don’t worry we say to each other. At least we got a point. We’ll get better. We have to. I’m not sure if anyone really believes it. But I also know that this Friday I’ll be staring at the same TV screen with a bottle of cold Spitfire and renewed hope. Because this is the fate of an England football supporter. Nobody said it was going to be easy.

Disclaimer – I’m a football nut. I’m also English. This is a very potent combination that can lead to silly behaviour, particularly when beer is added to the mix. Please take these World Cup episodes with a HUGE pinch of salt and see them for what they are intended to be – a bit of beery fun!