There are some things that are easy to make fun out of. Like celebrity scientologists, dart players who claim it is a sport, role-playing grown-ups who dress up as aliens and Germans for, well, just about everything else.*

And then there are big breweries.

I don't care what you say Mr Spock. None of this is logical.

It seems anyone who claims they love craft beer almost by default has to hate any beer produced by a big brewery. After all they are the faceless, heartless peddlers of cheap fizz that rake in millions using marketing gimmickry rather than brewing skill to trick us into buying their brands.

Right?

Well maybe, maybe not. Let’s take the latest Pistonhead Cruisin’ Summer Lager from Brutal Brewing (which is really Spendrups) as a case in point.

Now this is a beer that on face value represents everything I don’t like about beer and beer marketing, being far too much about the bling bling for the ching ching rather than an honest attempt to deliver a rewarding beer experience.

And that’s where my problem with beers like Pistonhead largely begin and end. Seriously I’ve got nothing against lagers produced in huge quantities to recipes and using techniques that enable them to be sold cheaply on the shelves.

I totally believe there’s a time and a place for these types of beers, just as there is a time and a place for an over-the-top hop-laden IPA or a rich and decadent coffee and chocolate porter.

I just wish the companies that produce these types of beers would be a little more honest about them, along the lines of “look it’s like this. We brew beer that doesn’t exactly rip the brewing rulebook up but it costs about the same price as milk and it’s great to drink at parties, on hot days or in the sauna. If you want challenging beer drink lambics. If you want a simple, refreshing beer drink ours instead”.

Cruisin' on the back of my ride y'all!

If it said that on the back of the cans of Pistonhead Cruisin’ Summer Lager that were released earlier this month at the monopoly I’d be far more likely to buy one. Instead Brutal Brewing attempts to spin us a ‘cool’ story dripping with axle grease and Americana in which we are told the beer is “loaded with our favourite (British spelling) hops (but doesn’t tell us which ones) for you greasers to enjoy. Brutal Brewing wishes y’all (hey that’s American isn’t it?) a great summer.

Far be it for me to ruin a good story but if you look up the word greaser in Wiki the first definition that greets you is:

Greaser – a derogatory term for a Mexican.

I trust Spendrups doesn’t have any plans to export this beer to Mexico City?

On the other hand I know I am sometimes guilty of poking fun and looking down at big brewery beers before they ever get anywhere near my glass. This is wrong and something I intend to work harder at making right. After all we must never forget that behind every beer there are real people whose job it is to produce it. People whose working days revolve around it and whose livelihoods in some way may even depend on it. We’re fully entitled to dislike their beer but we should never feel we’re entitled to deride or dismiss their efforts without good cause.

Which brings me nicely around to my tasting of Pistonhead Cruisin’ Summer Lager. I’m going to attempt to ignore all the Brutal bullshit and judge the liquid in the can objectively and entirely on its own merits.

Pouring it up its textbook stuff with a bright slightly copper-gold body under a bleached white head that quickly collapses to a thin ring.

Now for the good news. This is the best smelling Pistonhead to date by a mile with some pleasant, if somewhat distant, aromas of mango and melted butter.

In the mouth the taste of sweet malt wash away quickly, revealing a spiky but thankfully short-lived bitterness as the beer retreats into anonymity. There’s no obvious defaults, nothing that warrants harsh words. It’s the perfect example of lagom lager and my score of 2.5 out of 5 reflects exactly that.

*If you’re a German role-playing darts fan I do apologise and hope you take my observations in the spirit of fun that they were intended. If you’re Mexican don’t take it out on me, take it out on Brutal!

I admire the PR industry, I really do. After all I used to work in it, have got a diploma in it and have had some very long lunches in nice restaurants because of it.

But when it comes to writing press releases somewhere a line needs to be drawn between what is useful, real, factual information and what is, for want of a better word, bullshit.

That line wasn’t so much crossed as some writer triple-jumped over it when they conceived Spendrups’ latest press release to announce the arrival of their Brutal Brewing concept onto the Swedish beer scene.

Reading through the dramatically worded press release felt like reading the voice-over script from one of those cheesy Hollywood film trailers.

(Imagine the next three paragraphs being spoken by a deep gravely American male voice)

“When the people behind the success of Pistonhead asked if they could start a new company within the business the answer was: go for it, and go for it hard!

“Their ambition – to brew great and unexpected beer without boundaries. The only proviso – dare to fail and try again.

“If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire… oh sorry, wrong film trailer”.

Ok, so now I’m hooked. The press release continues to cleverly build the excitement with some motivational words from incoming Spendrups CEO Fredrik Spendrup:

“To say no to our inner entrepreneurial drive and desire to experiment is just not in our nature….. we need a greenhouse…a place where anything goes”.

It all sounds so radical and downright freaking crazy I just want to pack my job in and start hanging out with this gang of rebels right away. That is until Fredrik declares:

“But it’s far from a microbrewery – it’s quite simply Brutal Brewery”.

Hang on a second Fredrik. If it’s not a brewery what exactly is it then? Surely, if you strip away all the film-script hype, isn’t it quite simply a little bit of Spendrups with a fancy new name and logo?

And here’s where it gets really, really funny. The release goes to absurd lengths to tell us the no-holds-barred gang of brewing lawbreakers at Brutal have a free hand to do whatever they damn well please – as long that is as the brewing process complies with the German Reinheitsgebot purity laws of 1516.

Seriously, I’m not making it up! Brutal Brewing’s mould-breaking beers will all be brewed to a set of strict German brewing laws that date back almost five centuries!

Pretty damn radical huh?

To ram home just how industry-changing Brutal Brewery beers will be Fredrik finishes by announcing the release of its first ever beer.

So just what type of beer do you think this band of rebel-raisers has created to boldly claim its stake in the brave new beer world?

Why it’s a 4.6% lager in a 33cl can called Cheap Thrills that will cost a mere 7.90 SEK, making it the cheapest beer in the monopoly along with those other radical game-changing beers Kung, Björnebryg and Fagerhult Export.

The Brutal dudes inform us the beer is laced with the wacky noble German Tettnanger hop that dates back to the mid 1800s, has a ‘hairy’ malt body, a loud-mouth bitterness and then…then the press release really falls down the rabbit hole by declaring the beer has a big aroma of jävlaranamma.

Can somebody please explain that last bit to me as I’m obviously far too un-cool to get it.

And it’s just about here that it’s suddenly not funny any more.

After all what Spendrups is really trying to do is pull a marketing fast one here isn’t it. Cynically riding the wave of interest in edgy craft beer producers like Stone, Mikkeller and BrewDog whilst pumping out industrial lagers at a price point that can only be achieved with the faintest use of quality ingredients.

I don’t have a problem with Spendrups launching Brutal Brewery – really I don’t. In fact I think it’s a pretty damn cool name.

What I do have a problem with is that they think they can kid us into believing it’s anything more than a gratuitous marketing ploy to push out even more cheap beer to the masses.

I’ll give the beer a chance when it comes to the Systembolaget on April 1^st* The press release though has already been consigned to the trash.

*On a more serious note I can’t help but feel a little disappointed in the monopoly for allowing a beer with the brand name ‘Cheap Thrills’ into the assortment in the first place. One of the fundamental pillars of the monopoly is to ‘sell alcohol in a responsible way’ and yet here is a beer that clearly aims itself both in name and price at drinkers looking to get a cheap rush of booze. They may as well have called it “Get Pissed for Less Lager” and be done with it. At least that would have been a little more honest.

I could tell by the Tiger suits, the jewellery and the manicures that I was deep into wine territory.

To the table on my left was old money – a middle-aged man with a plain but superbly fitted pink shirt and cuffs hiding a gold Rolex. His female guest was younger, pretty but not beautiful, with sunglasses perched on top of immaculately dragged back blonde hair.

To my right the business brigade – more flashy, expensive but ill-fitting suits, iPhones on the table and gold company credit cards at the ready.

I'll have a Carlsberg Hof with that mate. Don't worry about a glass. I'll drink it straight out of the bottle.

As I sat down with my guests for lunch at Villa Källhagen in Stockholm’s swanky Djurgården district I spied the crisp linen napkins, the swirls of handmade butter, the freshly baked bread rolls and the oversized wine glasses. Such attention to detail boded well for a good meal, I thought to myself.

After some polite conversation with my guests while perusing the menu I opted for the grilled steak with green beans and a herb-infused baked tomato. I had seen one being brought out to the table beside me. It looked perfectly cooked, shining with glaze and utterly delicious.

“And would you like some wine with your meal?” asked the charming waitress, pen eagerly poised on paper to record my reply.

I sighed inwardly. Was it really worth it, I said to myself? I mean, what’s the point in asking when I already know the answer? I took a deep mental breath anyway.

“No, but I’d love to see your beer list please”.

I watched her face, waiting for the inevitable reaction. First came confusion, followed quickly by a nervous smile and then a look I swore bordered on mild pity. Wait just a few more seconds, I thought to myself. Here it comes.

“We don’t actually have a beer list I’m afraid. But we do have a selection of beers from Spendrups. They are a Swedish brewery. They are very nice”.

Nice they may be, but Spendrups’ Lättöl, Mellanöl or Premium Lager Ekologisk will never, ever be the right drink to pair with grilled steak. In my world it’s a culinary blunder on a par with serving tinned mushrooms with truffles or squeezing tomato ketchup on foie gras.

What makes this incident all the more distressing is that not a single person sitting at my table rolled their eyes, threw their napkins on the table in disgust or burst into contemptuous laughter.

Why? Because the same thing is happening right this second in the most exclusive, impossible-to-get-a-table restaurants in Sweden.  It’s so routine it’s become expected and accepted.

Nor does it seem to matter how expensive the menu, how many White Guide listings or the number of Michelin stars awarded. Quite the opposite in fact.

The shocking truth is that with frighteningly few exceptions Sweden’s finest eateries are serving us exactly the same beers as the pizza restaurant around the corner.

In the next post: I take a closer look at the menus of five of Sweden’s most celebrated restaurants, see what beers they’re serving, ask why beer seems to be a such a culinary afterthought and whether we beer drinkers can do more to get our favourite drink back into fine dining.

Swedish brewing giant Spendrups is being forced to withdraw 17,000 bottles of Heineken from the market after discovering the beer is stronger than the labels claim.

Human error is being cited as the cause of the cock-up which lead to thousands of 330ml bottles of Heineken marked 08 april 11 being labelled as 3.5% ABV beer (which is the maximum strength for beer available for sale in Swedish supermarkets) when in reality it is stronger (probably 5% although the exact ABV has yet to be confirmed).

”We are concerned that someone will drink it in the belief it is a 3.5% ABV beer when in reality it is a strong beer”, said Spendrups Information Director Caroline Ekman.

She pointed out that the bottles didn’t reach the supermarket shelves but ended up in restaurants and Systembolaget (Swedish alcohol monopoly) stores throughout the country. It is currently unclear how many of the 17,000 incorrectly labelled bottles have already been sold.

Spendrups, which brews Heineken under license for the Swedish market, will be placing adverts in the areas where the bottles have been sold urging people to return them to the nearest Systembolaget store.

So if you’ve recently bought a 330ml bottle of Heineken from the Systembolaget I recommend you take the following steps:

1) Take a long hard look at your beer buying habits.

2) Try the beer. If it actually tastes of anything you’ve probably got a dodgy bottle and should return it immediately.

If Spiderman was a beer drinker he’s probably say “With great beer comes great flavour”. Probably.

But I doubt even Spiderman would be brave enough to get his radioactively mutated butt anywhere near the new Pistonhead Summer Brew – despite the fact it comes in a can that looks like it has been lifted straight from the pages of a Marvel comic book.

If Pistonhead was a comic book character he’d be one of those useless, laughable villains that have powers no one ever wants and who never wins a fight. Ever. Like Bookworm (who can make the characters in books come alive) or the Penguin, whose only real power is that he looks like, well, a penguin.

PistonHead would of course have the uncanny power to transform hops, malt, yeast and water into a foul-tasting slime that he would use to try and defeat the protectors of craft beer everywhere.

It’s Swedish law that marketing of alcohol must not be aimed at anyone under the age of 25. I wonder who the design team at Spendrups had in mind when they sketched out the new Pistonhead can, because to me it’s practically made for testosterone-flooded, spotty 20-year-olds who normally gulp down cans of energy drinks while playing Counter Strike on their computers until dawn.

I’m also curious as to why they associated this entire Pistonhead concept with cars in a country where drinking and driving is an absolute no-no. I see they’ve now put a sign warning people to avoid alcohol when driving on the can (this wasn’t on the first Pistonhead bottle if I recall correctly) but still.

It all comes across as a clumsy and embarrassing attempt to be hip and about as comfortable to watch as Paul Gascoigne when he tried to rap his way through Fog on the Tyne.

“Pistonhead Lowridin’ Lager is a smooth summer brew for the laid-back hot rodder” the can proclaims. I’m not sure if I’ve ever met a hot rodder, let alone a laid-back one.

If I did he may recognise some of the characteristics of this beer though because on the nose it smells as though it has been poured straight from a car battery, with a harsh, ionised smell of rusty water.

Despite the ingredients list telling us of the use of Magnum, Bramling Cross and Amarillo hops they were barely discernible underneath the faint favours of Wonder Bread and CO2.

I couldn’t finish my glass and abandoned it by the side of the sink. The next day I sniffed it before pouring it away and can conclude that it’s the only beer I’ve tried in recent years that actually benefits from oxidisation.

As Stan Lee, the creator of Spiderman himself would say: “Nuff said”.

Spendrups Bryggeri has today announced it is to launch a second alcohol free beer in response to ”increased consumer interest and demand”.

The Swedish brewing giant, which already produces Norrlands Guld Alkoholfri, points to statistics that suggest the consumption of alcohol-free beer in Sweden has risen by 18% in the retail sector and 23% within the government alcohol monopoly Systembolaget since 2008.

Spendrups has also conducted its own consumer research in which it found drinkers preferred the concept of an alcohol-free beer in a profile bottle over other low-alcohol brands.

Spendrups Marketing Director Mats Liedholm said people wanted to feel they were drinking ‘a real beer’.

”They wanted a flavoursome beer in a profile bottle which is perceived to be a ‘proper beer’. We think we’ve succeeded in giving them this. This beer is a really good alternative for those who don’t want to consume alcohol but who still want to experience and enjoy the taste of beer”.

Called Premium Lager alkoholfri the brand is being rolled out in the Swedish retail market this week and has a RRP of 9.90

Here’s the first peek at Spendrups new Pistonhead Summer Brew – the second beer out of the Pistonhead ‘garage’ going on sale in the Swedish Systembolaget from May 3rd.

Pistonhead Summer Brew is the follow-up to Pistonhead Hot Roddin’ Lager which I tasted and wrote about a while back.

This time Spendrups have packaged Pistonhead in a stylish ‘metal and motor’ 330ml can and once again I’m giving full credit to the Swedish brewing giant for the way it’s presenting this macho-man-and-machine concept.

It remains however to be seen whether the beer itself is as impressive as the flaming skull motif and the press release I received in the mail today in which Spendrups’ Head Brew Richard Bengtsson promises us as beer with”a pronounced hoppy character with suggestions of blackcurrants and a distinct bitterness that will suit anyone who wants a fresh, tasty lager this summer”.

Spendrups (in my opinion somewhat awkwardly) are using ‘petrolhead’ lingo and encouraging drinkers to ‘stay low and slow this summer’. I’m sure they’ll be hoping this doesn’t also apply to sales of this quirky brand.

I’ll be reviewing Pistonhead Summer Brew the moment I get hold of a can so check back soon!

Swedish brewing giant Spendrups has been given a slap on the wrist by the country’s consumer watchdog after it ran an advert in a national newspaper showing a bottle of ice cold beer with the headline ‘Have a really Cold Summer’.

The advert, which appeared in Aftonbladet back in June last year, was deemed a breach of Sweden’s ultra strict laws on the promotion of alcohol and the brewery was earlier this month officially warned never to run it again or else they would be fined 400,000 SEK ($55,400).

The Swedish Konsumentombudsmannen ruled that the bottle of Norrlands Guld featured in the ad was in breach of alcohol law as the headline was designed by Spendrups ‘to associate the consumption of a cold beer with warm summer days’. It pointed out the use of ice in the ad only strengthened this message.

They concluded that the advert did not convey any relevant product information (required by law) and played on ”emotions and moods” to encourage consumption.

Legal bit over. Now time for a bit of reasoned analysis from the real world.

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This is the second time a beer brand has landed in hot water over the past couple of days here in Sweden. Only yesterday I broke the news that the government alcohol monopoly, the Systembolaget, had banned further sales of the US beer Founders Breakfast Stout as the front label features a picture of a young child eating breakfast – a contravention of Swedish alcohol law that forbids the marketing of beer to anyone under the age of 25.

Although I personally wonder why it took a whole two weeks for the Systembolaget to realise its mistake (by which time nearly all the 1680 bottles of Founders in the country were already sold) I do agree with those that think this specific label could be mistaken by a child as a being something he/she could drink.

To test this theory I showed the bottle to my 8-year-old daughter who thought it looked ”cute” and instantly picked out the word chocolate. So in this particular case I’m backing the Systembolaget’s decision 100%.

However the ruling against Spendrups is in my opinion an example of Sweden’s alcohol politics gone bonkers. As part of their manifesto to remove all emotion from the promotion of beer (which after all is an incredibly emotive product) they have assumed Swedish beer drinkers have all the powers of reasoning and control of a child with a sweet tooth in a candy shop.

After all, are they not effectively saying that by showing us a picture of a chilled bottle of beer with the headline ”Enjoy a Really Cold Summer” Spendrups is going to send us all into a frenzied summer binge drinking spree? Are we really that impressionable and susceptible to abusing alcohol as a result of reading this headline that we need to be protected from it by the Government?

Now the alcohol law is the alcohol law and Spendrups have clearly broken it in this case. However as a beer enthusiast, a consumer living in Sweden and as a free-thinking grown adult I have to ask the question…..was this the right decision?

I really wanted this to work.

I’d taken home a quarter pounder with cheese for dinner and Bruce Springsteen was whipping the crowd into a patriotic frenzy as he blasted out Born in the USA on Spotify.

Conditions were as ideal as they could be considering I’m sitting 400 km south of the Arctic circle in Sweden to try my first ever glass of Spendrups’ new US-inspired Pistonhead Hot Roddin’ Lager

The bottle’s flaming skull motif was fairly eye-catching, as was the incorrect (brewed on…) and clumsy English (no bling??) on the back label. But these, I hoped, were merely scratches in this beer’s hot rod bodywork and that there was still a high performance brew revving up underneath the hood.

However instead of this……

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I got this.

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There’s no easy way to say this. Pistonhead is about as genuinely American as Arnold Schwarzeneggar. Spendrups promised a beer with attitude but delivers a lager that barely gets into first gear.

Appearance-wise Pistonhead is unspectacular – perhaps a shade more amber than most pale lagers with a bleached white head. The first clear sign that it has very little in the tank is the smell of it. American hops are known for their distinctive and explosive aromas of grapefruit, citrus and pine needles. Despite the fact that Pistonhead uses more than one US hop variety I just couldn’t locate them underneath thin smells of vegetables and butterscotch.

Taste-wise things went from bad to worse. Hash, metallic, raw malt flavours that thankfully vanished in one of the shortest aftertastes I’ve experienced in recent years of drinking beers. As for the hops…..they simply failed to turn up.

There seems little point in carrying on. In a previous post I gave kudos to Spendrups for seemingly breaking the brewery mould and daring to launch this beer. I still think they should be applauded for doing so, although I am hugely disappointed they didn’t give it the horsepower needed to make it worthy of the hype.

The back label proclaims Pistonhead comprises “only high quality parts and a lot of torque”.

Unfortunately it should read “a lot of talk” instead.

Pistonhead Hot Roddin’ Lager

A lager from Spendrups Brewery

5% ABV

Systembolaget Article Number: 1432-03

The Systembolaget is making this particular Monday a little easier to get through with the release of 12 new beers going on sale from this morning.

The Swedish micros are particularly well represented this time round, with beers from Nynäshamn, Oppigårds. Sigtuna and Dugges hitting the shelves. Big brother brewery Spendrups is also there with it’s eye-catching and quirkily named Pistonhead Hot Roddin’ Lager.

Expect a review of all these beers over the coming days!

From the US comes Double Bastard Ale from Stone Brewing and Sierra Nevada’s Celebration Ale – both big, bold and critically acclaimed beers. The US invasion continues with a beer that “bites like a rattlesnake looking for a fight” – Hop Ottin’ IPA and an altogether tamer wheat ale from Good Islands Beer Company that feels a little out of season with the thermometer currently dipping below -20 degrees here in Umeå.

A pair of English style beers from Stensbogaard Bryghus in Denmark almost complete the new line-up; a dry IPA (India Pale Ale) and a coffee-tasting stout.

I said almost because Estrella Damm launches its non-alcoholic lager today. Now in fairness I haven’t tasted this one, only the ‘normal’ strength version. However if it’s a paler copy of that I warmly recommend you drink something (read ANYTHING) else instead.